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Three old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy,isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'
~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~
I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a
hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm
half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40
different medications that make me dizzy, winded , and subject to
blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly
feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have
lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.
~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~
~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~
My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were
sitting on a bench under a tree when one turned to the other and
said: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and
pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim said, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'
~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~
A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new
hearing aid... It cost me four thousand dollars, but its state of the
art. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty', he replied.
~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~
It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.
_________________
Dick MacKenzie
''Life's tough......it's even tougher if you're stupid.'' -- John Wayne
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