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 Post subject: Priceless
PostPosted: Jul Thu 26, 2007 8:21 am 
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A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard.

Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the
right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have
beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in
frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection,
dropping her cell phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and
looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer
ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the
police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed,
and placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours, the policeman
approached the cell and opened the door.

She was escorted back to the booking desk, where the arresting officer
was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up
behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the
guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the
'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license
plateholder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker,
and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk,
naturally.....I assumed you had stolen the car."
:lol:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Jul Thu 26, 2007 8:56 am 
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Dick I had one of them in front of me on Basin Road (during all the construction) when it opened up to 2 lanes at the next lite I pulled along side and said "Praise the Lord" ..... he sunk down in his seat..... I guess he got the message

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PostPosted: Jul Thu 26, 2007 9:04 am 
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You got to love this guy.

This is a true story about a recent wedding that

took place at Clemson University. It made the

local newspaper; even Jay Leno mentioned

it.


It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.

After the wedding, at the reception, the

groom got up on stage with a

microphone to talk to the crowd.


He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming,

many from long distances, to support them at

their wedding. He especially wanted to thank

the bride's family & to especially thank his

new father-in-law for providing such a

lavish reception.


As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted

to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped

to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the

wedding party, were an envelope. He stressed

that this was his gift to everyone, & asked

them to open their envelope.


Inside each manila envelope was an 8 x 10 glossy of his

bride having sex with his best friend, the best man.

The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks

earlier & had hired a private detective to tail them.


After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions

for a couple of minutes, he turned to his best man & said,

"F--- you!" Then he turned to his bride & said, "F--- you!"

Then he turned back to the dumbfounded crowd & said,

"I'm outta here." He had the marriage annulled first

thing the following morning.


While most people would have canceled the Wedding

immediately after finding out about the affair, this

guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing

were wrong. His revenge--making the bride' s

parents pay over $32,000 for a 300+ guest

wedding & reception, & best of all, trashing the

bride's & his best man's reputations in front of

300+ friends & family members.


This guy has balls the size of church bells.

Do you think we might get a Master Card

"PRICELESS" commercial out of this?

Elegant wedding reception for 300 family

members & friends: $32,000...

Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion:

$3,000...

Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in Maui:

$8,500...

The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10

glossy of the bride humping his best man: Priceless...


There are some things money can't buy,

for everything else there's

MASTERCARD!

"Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches,

it's more like a jar of Jalapenos - - -

What you do today, might burn
your ass tomorrow. *

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Jul Thu 26, 2007 10:11 am 
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DANGIT & I have a Visa. I guess I outta get a Mastercard so I can learn to appreciate the better things in life. do I have to pay a mastercard like I do the visa??

Bob

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Jul Thu 26, 2007 12:43 pm 
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Maliboost wrote:
do I have to pay a mastercard like I do the visa??

Bob


Nah, don't bother. If they call you about the bill tell 'em I said it was ok. :wink:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Jul Thu 26, 2007 2:22 pm 
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bfnjz52 wrote:
Maliboost wrote:
do I have to pay a mastercard like I do the visa??

Bob


Nah, don't bother. If they call you about the bill tell 'em I said it was ok. :wink:


thanks Dick, Im gonna give that a go. think that will work with the Mortgauge as well??

bob

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You are what you are, when no one is looking

Yea, I'll race you. But you gotta give me 2 Jack stands & the hit.
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Jul Thu 26, 2007 7:30 pm 
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Prob not Bob, don't want to get greedy. AND, left coast bank are kinda funny about that.

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''Life's tough......it's even tougher if you're stupid.'' -- John Wayne


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Jul Thu 26, 2007 10:21 pm 
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bfnjz52 wrote:
Prob not Bob, don't want to get greedy. AND, left coast bank are kinda funny about that.


forclosures are rising faster & faster every day. we are seriously thinking about buying another house in the next year or so. we could make a LOT of money.

Bob

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You are what you are, when no one is looking

Yea, I'll race you. But you gotta give me 2 Jack stands & the hit.
-Jackstand Bob


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