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13 Reasons to Smile!
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Author:  bfnjz52 [ Sep Fri 01, 2006 12:53 pm ]
Post subject:  13 Reasons to Smile!

13 Reasons to Smile!

- Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

- Marriage changes passion. - Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

- I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. - So I said "Implants?" She hit me.

- How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?

- A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Wow...that was fun!"

- I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

- When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."

- Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

- Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!

- Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

- Wouldn't you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

- Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

- Bumper sticker of the year: "If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier"

- And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Author:  RICK MILLER [ Sep Fri 01, 2006 1:02 pm ]
Post subject: 

Things that make ya say Hmmmm...................

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