They Ask Why I Like Retirement!

bfnjz52 · **Joined:** Jan Wed 25, 2006 9:03 pm **Posts:** 2668

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth

My favorite one:
QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Mon to Fri. Nothing, Sat & Sun I rest!
:lol:

bbnova · **Posted:** Aug Wed 23, 2006 7:09 am

bfnjz52 · **Joined:** Jan Wed 25, 2006 9:03 pm **Posts:** 2668

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"
"98," she replied. "Two years older than me."
"So you're 96," the undertaker commented.
She responded, "Yeah, hardly worth going home, is it?

bbnova · **Posted:** Aug Wed 23, 2006 8:38 am

bfnjz52 · **Joined:** Jan Wed 25, 2006 9:03 pm **Posts:** 2668

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees Fought prostate cancer and diabetes! I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.

Jimmy Biggs · **Joined:** Jul Mon 26, 2004 1:21 pm **Posts:** 4077

* and just got your Comp License

bfnjz52 · **Joined:** Jan Wed 25, 2006 9:03 pm **Posts:** 2668

Yeah....workman's comp...
:wink:

bbnova · **Posted:** Aug Wed 23, 2006 6:46 pm

bfnjz52 · **Joined:** Jan Wed 25, 2006 9:03 pm **Posts:** 2668

I know.....At my age all my friends send me "old" jokes....
:lol:

kickin_astro · **Posted:** Aug Wed 23, 2006 11:23 pm

bfnjz52 wrote:

I know.....At my age all my friends send me "old" jokes....
:lol:

Only 1 thing worse than getting Old Jokes..........

Not Getting Old Jokes...........

bbnova · **Posted:** Aug Thu 24, 2006 8:08 am

That's right Jim.... :wink:

bfnjz52 · **Joined:** Jan Wed 25, 2006 9:03 pm **Posts:** 2668

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

bbnova · **Posted:** Aug Thu 24, 2006 9:00 am

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They Ask Why I Like Retirement!

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