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| Went to a ....... http://www.bbnovaracing.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=16275 |
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| Author: | bfnjz52 [ Sep Thu 11, 2008 5:18 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Went to a ....... |
funeral today. Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied, 'Two years older than me.' ' So you're 96,' the undertaker commented. She responded, 'Yeah! Hardly worth going home, is it?' |
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| Author: | underdog [ Sep Thu 11, 2008 5:28 pm ] |
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| Author: | bbnova [ Sep Thu 11, 2008 5:32 pm ] |
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| Author: | bfnjz52 [ Sep Thu 11, 2008 6:16 pm ] |
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A reporter is interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked. She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.' |
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| Author: | bbnova [ Sep Thu 11, 2008 8:01 pm ] |
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Stop it your killing me... 
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| Author: | bfnjz52 [ Sep Thu 11, 2008 10:26 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Can't stop now I'm on a roll! |
Three old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy,isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!' Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.' ~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~ I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded , and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license. ~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~ ~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~ My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. ~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~ Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turned to the other and said: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Slim said, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.' 'Really!? Like a newborn baby?' 'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.' ~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~ A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid... It cost me four thousand dollars, but its state of the art. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty', he replied. ~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~ It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker. |
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| Author: | bbnova [ Sep Fri 12, 2008 7:25 am ] |
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| Author: | RICK MILLER [ Sep Fri 12, 2008 7:33 am ] |
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